Dear Brother
by Sara Jaye
Summary: Laylea's life had always been full of ironies, so it only made sense that the worst night of her life was so beautiful.


Tonight had no right to be so beautiful. When someone died, it was supposed to be gray and rainy and miserable, just like the ones they left behind.

It figured, though. Laylea's life had been one filled with ironies, both sweet and bitter. She remembered the day of her first successful dance performance, the sky gray and overcast yet the audience all smiles at the sight of her. The night she'd realized her feelings for Delmud, it had rained.

So of course the night her only brother died would be the most beautiful night she'd ever seen. Perfect clear sky, the stars shining like jewels, their sparkle reflected on the water.

Laylea sighed, drawing her knees to her chest and looking down at the sand. She couldn't bear to look at the stars right now, knowing that Sharlow would never look upon them again.

She knew it was useless to keep asking herself why, _why did this happen, why did he leave me?_ She'd known all along how sickly and weak he was, Levin had warned her that he didn't have much time left. It was a miracle he'd lived as long as he did, he'd told her, considering the life they led.

She knew that compared to others in the army who'd lost their siblings, she didn't have it so hard. Tristan, who accidentally killed his sister Janne. Radney and Dimna, losing their siblings to a bandit attack. Femina, whose brother had gotten himself killed protecting her. _At least you had the luxury of knowing it was coming_, she told herself.

But it still hurt. More than anything, it still hurt.

Laylea glanced at the sky; its color reminded her of his eyes. Deep and blue, so full of wonder and wisdom...she closed her eyes, watching it fade. Just as she'd watched the light fade from his eyes day after day for the past week. The memory of his last, weak smile still haunted her. _Don't cry for me, sister. I'm so happy I was able to know you._

Had she been foolish, hoping he might live? He'd survived _Thracia_ of all places, even Levin had suggested that his health might improve once they were out of the mountains. And it had, for a while. She'd held onto that one shred of hope with all her might.

_Of course it couldn't last_, Laylea thought bitterly. _That's always how it is in this army. Just how** life** is. Anytime things start going well for us, something terrible has to happen. How many more of us will die or lose someone dear to us before the war ends...if the war ever **does** end? Are we all the sort of people who are just never meant to be happy? What sort of hand did fate deal us?_

She shook her head. Sharlow wouldn't want her to think like that, she knew his greatest wish had always been to see a peaceful Jugdral. She knew what Levin would say, _those we've lost wouldn't want us to lose hope, we need to win this war for them more than anyone_. But knowing Sharlow would never see his wish granted made her wonder if it was even worth it.

Laylea buried her face in her knees again with a choked sob. _It's not fair, it's just not fair!_ she wanted to scream. Death was for brave soldiers who risked their lives, or tyrants who got what they had coming to them. It wasn't for a sweet, gentle boy who wanted nothing more than peace and happiness for everyone, even if he didn't know them.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe someone like him was just _too_ good and sweet to survive in a world like theirs. Granted, there was no such thing as the perfect person, but as far as she was concerned, Sharlow was as close as anyone could get.

"Too good for this wretched world," she muttered, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Suddenly she heard soft footfalls behind her and stiffened; the enemy was long gone but she wasn't in the mood for yet another person to spout the usual platitudes of _I'm sorry, it's so sad, it must be so hard for you, are you going to be okay._ She glanced up to see Leen standing behind her, a sad look on her face.

_Just say it and get it over with_, she thought, but the girl remained silent as she sat down next to Laylea. The girls shared a glance, then turned their gazes towards the horizon, Leen gently placing her hand atop Laylea's.

And suddenly, she was able to grasp that bit of hope once more. It hurt, it would hurt for who knew how long, but looking at the stars reflected in the water was like looking into those gentle blue eyes. He was still with her, even if she could never see him again.

_We're going to win this war for you, Sharlow,_ she thought. _Your dream will come true, I'll make absolutely sure of it._

Leen caught her eye once more, and smiled gently.

"You're not alone," she said, and Laylea believed her.


End file.
